Almost two years..

It’s almost two years ago that I designed my first logo for myself with the artist name I now go by.

The reason I decided to go on this artistic journey was to help me focus when my mind is in a state of mania/emotional overload and to give myself something positive to focus on. I realised that with my mental illnesses that if I focus on art & creativity it really helps me.

My diagnosis is far from black and white & fluctuates daily – this debilitates me in a lot of ways & leaves me isolated & can have a lot of negative impacts on me mentally & physically.

I started off editing photos/pictures on a free app on my phone through the night as I suffer with insomnia – This helped me focus & Channel my thoughts. I learned quickly that it was something I had to turn to when I am not feeling to good and soon I was editing daily & it works like a compulsive therapy to me.

Editing pictures is far from a cure & can also create stress – if I have 150 pictures to check through then I can’t rest until I have gone through them all & decided which to delete & which to keep and edit/and then edit which can make me ill!

This can understandably cause me a lot of anxiety but i feel it is the lesser of two evils – like if I didn’t have 150 photos & I was manic!? Atleast I feel I will have something positive at the end of it & my manic state has had time to wear off. As I said, my condition is far from black & white.

I feel that editing and art now play a huge part of my life in helping me focus negative feelings (which can be very scary and potentially very dangerous) into a positive outlet & I would like to promote this through my art & my story.