U N M A S K I N G autism with a late diagnosis

Writing a description for my more complex meaningful images can often lead to sensory overload as I am writing it.. It takes me back to the mindset I was in when I was creating it. I also struggle to articulate my words so that the reader can fully understand what I am trying to project across – explaining one topic can lead to other background stories which then creates more stress and anxiety! 

I have started to write the description for this image twice now but each time it has led me into deep waters and triggered me so I have had to stop. 

I decided to just write a basic sentence on each section of the picture as I feel this is an important piece of art to me. Even in doing it this way it still caused me a great deal of anxiety as unmasking is still a very raw topic for me

The Bubble

The bubble floating represent Society with the outdated old city buildings in the background. 
The puppet master hand Hand looming over showing how everything is controlled from above.
The sewn up lips represent how people feel when they try to voice their condition to people but they don’t seem to listen so feel voiceless. 
The 666 on the finger is to show how I see the darkness and ignorance in a lot of society.
The tipped scales of justice represents how I see that autism and neurodiverse conditions are misrepresented.
As a society we preach that is good to talk and to be open which people (including myself) try to do. The ‘Ok’ bubble is a representation of so many reply’s I receive from many different people when I open up fully. This comes from people who say they are there to talk if ever needed (i find it’s a generic response people say when someone expresses that they are struggling) however don’t know what to reply when confronted with issues. This topic is a a lot bigger and there are some real dangers from the flip side of the ‘advice’ givers who don’t know much about more complex conditions.
The ladder hanging down from the building represents the climb and fight faced on a daily basis for things that people take for granted.
I added the light bulbs with the one bright one shining to represent my quote I refer to a lot which Is ‘The Gift in the curse’.
At the bottom of the bubble I have added a stretched distorted face which represents how hard and draining it is to mask day in, day out.

The Figures

The small figure, even though full of light and stars, is punching to get into society as he wants to fit in even though he knows he doesn’t. He is having to punch his way through into this bubble and try to fit in even though there is a tear coming down his cheek as he knows he doesn’t belong. The tear is getting clearer the longer he is trying but people around him don’t realise the anxiety and fear he is going through.

The large figure is a lot stronger in stature and older now! Fighting harder and stronger! Finally knowing he doesn’t fit in and accepting it, punching harder and kicking more fiercely to get out of the bubble. The larger older figure has the binary numbers through him as this represents how he feels robotic and that he clearly doesn’t belong. The leg that has penetrated through the bubble has started to show the stars return that was there before he entered the bubble. This represents that he is trying to be who he should of always been. The blood below where he has kicked through the bubble represent how much it has drained and taken from him as a person to fight, and continue to fight, to be himself.


Posted on

August 31, 2022


  1. Kay

    For me it is difficult to talk about your amazing images – I think it’s because I feel it, I feel the pain the frustration your daily fight, but I do think your incredible way of dealing with this torment puts you on a higher plain – it takes you to an almost different planet of deep thought and wisdom!! Well Dez for one I am proud to know you..

    • Loveartpix

      Thank you.. I feel lucky in the sense that I am able to vent my feelings through an art form – I don’t know where I would of ended up without this.
      Creating deep pieces like this you are definitely on another level of thought. Without the focus of creating though these raw emotions do become to overwhelming. Even when I’m creating them I hold my breath for long periods and feel deep anxiety (I can only relate to the feeling you get when you receive news that a family member has died) it’s that intense.
      Creating art doesn’t take away the feeling but the focus helps you through and I feel that having the art creation after brings something positive out of something so negative ❤️

  2. Su

    Very well written Dez and educational. Your art speaks for itself!


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