I wanted to give a bit more context to this Popart piece I have created.
Russ and I connected on social media a couple of years ago. Since then, we’ve had many open conversations about mental health, neurodiversity, and the challenges. Russ runs a successful printing and framing company in Manchester called “Love to Frame” – which, if I remember correctly, was the reason I initially contacted him. Although we’d spoken for a while, we only met in person at the private launch of my debut art exhibition, “A Neurodivergent Art Exhibition.” He brought his wife and son, Finlay, who is autistic.
While we had spoke off and on before, that night gave us both a much clearer understanding of one another. I knew Russ had faced difficulties understanding and accepting Finlay’s autism, and that it hadn’t always been an easy journey for them. I didn’t fully grasp the impact until an emotional phone call we had a day or two after the exhibition.
I remember him saying I probably wouldn’t like him after he told me something. Based on our previous discussions and my understanding of Russ, I had an inkling of what he was going to share, but I reassured him that it wouldn’t change my perspective. He said that he used to be ashamed of Finlay because he is autistic. I immediately reassured him that I didn’t judge him, and that I believed he wasn’t alone in feeling this way and that it’s something that would be common, but less talked about. It’s a harsh reality, but not every parent has the tools or support to navigate the challenges of raising an autistic child, let alone accept and celebrate their neurodiversity.
In fact, I think if I had been diagnosed earlier in life, my own parents would have struggled the same. Societal stigma and a lack of understanding surrounding autism, particularly among older generations, creates a big part of the problem we have today. It’s not just the battles fought at home in understanding and acceptance, but also the fear of judgment and the pressure to conform that add to these feelings of shame.
Our conversation, though tearful, was beautiful in its honesty and vulnerability. Russ shared with me that at the exhibition, he truly ‘saw’ Finlay for the first time. He described how Finlay was mesmerised by the introductory video on the big screen and asked for a copy – which I obviously sent him. Russ explained that the exhibition, our talks, and my art, helped him understand and accept Finlay for who he is. I told him that his honesty was super powerful and could be really impactful for others to hear. I feel sharing his experience could help him heal, move forward, and realise he wasn’t alone. The important thing was his mindset now and his path moving forward.
Hearing such words from Russ means the world to me. It validates my efforts and proves to me I’m making a real difference in people’s lives. It gives meaning to my own struggles and allows me to use my experiences to help others. To be able to articulate my own experiences and provide a voice for Finlay and so many others, helping parents like Russ understand their children through my art, is what I now dedicate my life to.
Art is my tool for self-expression, but also for expressing the experiences of others like me. While my art doesn’t represent every autistic or neurodivergent person, it has the power to connect with many and help bridge the gap in understanding that is very common in society.
Russ’s support and changed perspective have been inspiring for me – more than he knows. I really admire him for this, and I’m proud to call him a friend.
One aspect of our conversation focused on the clear communication differences. Direct communication can be perceived as rude or misunderstood by neurotypical individuals, can be the clearest and most effective form of communication for autistic people. We laughed about how Finlay, when overwhelmed in social situations, simply says “GO NOW” and walks away. This simple, powerful phrase inspired the artwork.
Russ asked me to create a piece based on this idea. I wanted it to be as straightforward as the phrase itself. The bold, graphic “GO NOW” embodies Finlay’s directness and provides a visual representation of a vital coping mechanism. I envision this design on stickers – a clear reminder that setting boundaries is essential. It can be a source of empowerment and a reminder for neurodivergent and neurotypical individuals to value clear and healthy communication.
This piece is dedicated to Russ and Finlay. To anyone facing negativity, remember Finlay’s wise words: “GO NOW” Sometimes, disengaging is the healthiest and most effective response. This artwork is a celebration, a reminder to prioritise our well-being and set boundaries unapologetically.
What a marvellous example of how impactful your work is Dez. Sharing the autistic experience, particularly through the medium of your art, touches and educates people but not in a judgmental or berating way about the many misconceptions of the condition which exist in society.
Loved the story behind this piece. I am ordering a copy now to hang at home and point at, went visitor’s time to leave has come !
I love this. My family and I met Finlay at the art exhibition and my grandson Lenny took an instant shine to him. What a beautiful story this is
Thank you for sharing Finlay’s wise words and your honesty of writing which is always insightful. About an hour ago, dealing with a stressful situation I did the Finlay move, I just said to myself “Go Now” and took myself away for a while. It’s magic!
Lenny was absolutely brilliant with Finlay.
Lenny is a superstar
Aww Dez this is such an amazing, story, thank you so much for sharing.
Your vulnerability and honesty are incredibly moving. The way you’ve shared both your experience and Russ’s story creates a safe space for others to reflect on their own journeys with neurodiversity
Great article mate and the positive impact the exhibition had on lots of people was fantastic. Keep up the brilliant work and speak soon. Paul
The art work is very powerful and helps to create its powerful message, more than words can ever describe. Art speaks to us on many levels. I’m glad Russ was helped as I’m sure this image will help many others.
It is about creating our boundaries, something I struggle with.
I definitely know my own parents would never have accepted me being neurodivergent! Thanks Dez.
Amazing read -fills me with hope . Love the fact that Russ felt able to be honest with you about the ‘shame’ People should never be shamed for their honest emotions ,the only way to educate is to listen without judgement -I do feel the autistic community can struggle with this ,I have seen parents that admit to negative emotions /thoughts around their child’s autism be torn down by the community and it ain’t pretty .
Personally I struggled when my daughter was diagnosed aged 3 ,and am still working through aspects of shame re. My own autism .
‘Go Now ‘ is brilliant title -it sums everything up .
Really important write up this for people to understand how with autism, unlike a broken bone, won’t be seen on the forefront by most people for people to think, especially with young children that ‘there rude’ or ‘just a brat’ etc etc which depending on others reaction which can be massively important in an autistic individuals social development therefore others reactions can have a major impact on any person especially children. Although this can’t be seen like ‘a broken bone’ people may use this as an excuse of ‘well how am I supposed to know, not my fault” etc. however this is why it’s so important for everyone to understand how common one being on the autism spectrum is, gain a little knowledge at least and always be mindful of where rational vs irrational responses may stem from. Don’t react (especially where children are involved) and instead be pro active in mindset, step back, assess the situation. It’s already difficult and so overwhelming for those with ASD and a struggle to build resilience in social environments so instead, with opening our minds to what we can understand with neurodiversity, even just that little bit can support situations like what I read in this article a great deal.
Really good piece this and hopefully this can open minds.