Here’s a question that crossed my mind the other day, and I wanted to share: Is the dictionary the autistic person’s bible? Not because we worship words, but because we rely on them to mean what they say – The way Christians follow the Bible and take what it says as ‘Gospel’.
Our institutions, workplaces, schools, and social scripts are built around a neurotypical “default”, and that default turns everyday life into a translation test for autistic people – adding layers of uncertainty to an already demanding reality and making it more debilitating than it already is.
In the dictionary, words match their definitions, the world feels ordered, predictable, and fair. When they don’t, it can feel like complete confusion: the rules changed mid‑game, no one told us, and we are often the ones in the wrong for not understanding!
What “Gospel” Means
- Gospel (religious sense): the teachings and narratives about the life of Jesus – literally “good news.”
- Gospel (everyday sense): something accepted as completely true or authoritative, as in “to take it as gospel.”
So when I say we treat the dictionary as “gospel,” I mean we treat it as the authoritative source for what words mean and how they should be used.
Why the Dictionary Feels Like Solid Ground
For many autistic people:
- Rules: Clear, stable definitions reduce guesswork.
- Fairness: If we all agree on the meaning, nobody gets confused or tricked.
- Predictability: The same word, the same meaning, across contexts.
The dictionary is explicit, consistent, and accountable. It’s a place where reality is laid out in black and white, without hidden subtext.
The Confusing Gap: How Neurotypical Language Actually Works
Many neurotypical (NT) people use language flexibly. Meaning shifts with tone, context, relationship, and culture – often reflecting personal experiences. The dictionary captures official meanings, but much of daily speech runs on implied meaning and social “rules” that aren’t written down – what linguists call pragmatics.
Here’s where confusion explodes:
- Indirectness
“It’s cold in here.” – “Please close the window.”
“Do you mind…?” expects action, not a yes or no about “minding.”
- Softening and politeness
“Maybe we should reschedule” – “We need to cancel.”
“That’s interesting” can also mean “I disagree” or “No.”
- Elastic time words
“In a minute” = soon-ish, not 60 seconds / last on the list of things to do / no real intention
“ASAP” = “I want this prioritised,” not “immediately” in the literal sense.
- Social niceties vs Plans
“We should get lunch sometime” – friendly, not a plan.
“Hi, how are you?” – Hello, not asking how you are (This is one I really struggle with)
“Let’s catch up” without dates – goodwill, not commitment.
- Figurative speech
“Literally dying” – very embarrassed; not literally.
“I could eat a horse” – very hungry; not literal.
- Contradictory signals
– “It’s fine” with tight tone/body language – not fine.
– “No worries”, said quickly after a mistake – “I’m still annoyed.”
When you take words at face value (as autistic people usually do), these shifts feel like the ground moving underneath you. You followed the “gospel” of literal meaning – then got told you missed the point.
The Bible vs The Dictionary: A Paradox
Many people treat sacred texts as moral guides and ultimate authorities – accepted on faith, interpreted in community, and applied to life. At the same time, those same communities use everyday language with a lot of flexibility and implied meaning.
– Autistic tendency: Seek certainty in language; treat dictionary meanings as the standard.
– Common NT tendency: Accept interpretation and context as part of how meaning works day to day.
So there’s a paradox: people can be comfortable with a faith‑based authority for morals, yet rely on fluid, unwritten rules for everyday language – while the autistic person needs the opposite: a rule‑bound language to navigate a confusing society.
Everyday Examples That Show the Clash
- Work and school
“Guidelines” vs “rules”: If it’s truly optional, say “optional.” If not, say “required.”
“By the end of the day” – What time exactly?
“Feedback welcome” sometimes – “We’ve already decided.”
- Social
“Drop by anytime” – please don’t drop by unannounced.
“Maybe” in invitations often – “No,” but softer.
- Numbers
“Couple” (2), “few” (3–5), “several” (5–7+) – people use these loosely.
If you adhere to the dictionary’s exactness, these mismatches can feel like the roll of a dice.
Why This Matters Emotionally
– Predictability is safety: vagueness can create anxiety.
– Fairness is moral: If we all commit to words meaning what they say, everyone has equal access.
– Energy is limited: Decoding subtext drains bandwidth that could go to real work, relationships, or rest.
Bridging the Gap (For Both)
- For autistic communicators
– Ask for clear communication: “When you say ‘soon,’ is that today or by Friday?”
– Reflect: “To confirm, ‘maybe’ means ‘no’ this time?”
– Set terms early: “I prefer literal language – please be direct with yes/no.”
- For neurotypical communicators
– Be exact: Say “no” when you mean no; give dates and times; avoid “vagueness.”
– Label tone shifts: “I’m being polite, but the answer is no.”
– Replace hints with requests: “Please close the window” instead of “It’s cold.”
– Honour the contract: If you say words, stand by them – or clarify if they’re aspirational. If you say “I will ring you at 3 pm” ring at 3 pm.
So.. Is the Dictionary Our Bible?
As a metaphor, yes – it captures something essential. Autistic people need a stable, shared foundation for meaning. The dictionary provides definitions, examples, and edges. It’s not that other people are wrong to use subtext; it’s that unwritten rules create a fairness gap. If society expects everyone to navigate hidden meaning, then clarity becomes a form of accessibility.
I’m not saying I think the goal should be to force all language into literal boxes, but to normalise clarity as care, which includes the autistic way of communication as a baseline. Use the rich colours of metaphor and tone – but when it matters: define terms, state timelines, say what you actually mean.
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