BATTLES unseen (Collection)

During in a sensory overload or meltdown my heart feels like it’s beating out of control! My mind & thoughts are rushing uncontrollably & it can feel like I’m loosing complete grip of reality.

All of my senses are heightened & I feel powerless but at the same time a huge rage inside my head & chest. My vision becomes blurry & it leads to a state of panic & fear. This can last for hours at a time.

The noise in my head has been so overwhelming in the past that I have almost ran into a busy road to be hit by traffic to stop it; bashed my head against walls; drank alcohol in copious amounts in rapid succession to slow down the mania or stop the meltdown.

In these episodes I have to be alone & in silence to stop or slow down as much stimulation to my senses as possible. Talking does not help & can actually make the situation worse.

I chose the heart, brain & lungs as they are the big organs that I feel are affected most in these uncontrollable episodes.

I wanted to show the rage & confusion felt through the images.. I used all of the elements in the heart & lung pictures. I think I captured some of the feelings of despair through the abstract confusion & also the deep & dark colours.

The heart.. The raging sea with the hand reaching out; The lighting striking over the sea with the lion above roaring; Red hot lava & fire; Moody red skies with the silhouette of the demon approaching; The hurricane spiralling up with the clock through it, representing how long it feels when these periods happen; The skull of death looming through as the thought of death is always there throughout it all; The black smoke bellowing out to show how burned out these meltdowns can make you feel.